Judgmentals vs. Bad Christians

I talked with a friend today who spoke honestly and made perfectly good sense, though I disagreed with him. He told me that he is a Christian but does not often make that fact known to people because he is such a bad Christian. He said he doesn't want to be a bad witness. He thought the Bible backed him up on this, I didn't really know either way, but nevertheless I thought his efforts were good intentioned.

What could drive a person to deny their Christianity? My first guess would have to be the amount of pressure and judgment that comes from Christian communities to conform to Christian values and behaviors. I do not mean to generalize all Christian communities. However, I do know from experience that there are those few Judgmentals who conceal themselves within such communities only to drive people away at times when they are most vulnerable.

I am not innocent of being judgmental either. There are many stages of my life when I have been full of arrogance and pride such that practically nothing could escape my critique. So, I sympathize with the Judges. However, when I am on the receiving end of their narrow-minded “observations,” I get severely hurt by them. There is no love in judgment, no matter how nicely someone words it. And no matter how Biblical the critique, when the speaker does not listen and understand to whom he is speaking, then his truthful words turn to mere insults of character.

I wonder if this is why my friend has chosen to not bring shame on Christianity by denying his part in it. Perhaps he has had the “truth” spoken to him too many times, rather than others listening to the truth about him. As such, it makes perfectly good sense that a good person would deny their Christian faith to save the face of those who so strongly protect it. In reality, I fear that my friend is only protecting the pride of those Judgmentals who drove him away (“spoke the truth”) in the first place.

In either case, I think my friend points out a helpful flaw in Christian culture. We need to accept those who are less than perfect as though they are in fact perfect. We should not fake or conceal their imperfection either. Rather, we should embrace the person, as though they were family and had nothing to prove by their behavior or values. We should be freeing each other by listening rather than speaking and believing in each other rather than allowing the Judgmentals to win.

I would feel much better about being a Christian if this were true of my community.

My Ideal Community

I want to describe my ideal community. It is pretty much entirely imaginary, so bear with me if you can. I hope it doesn't sound too childish.

My ideal community is full of people who are risky. They are not careless or reckless, but they can throw caution to the wind if they so desire. If somone in the community is down, sick or lonely or otherwise hurting, they are sincerely responsive. No one is really alone unless they want to be, so no one every feels lonely. People takes risks for each other. They act out in service, as though they are taking care of one of their own family. For example, friends could call each other in the middle of the night and, despite having a wife or work tomorrow, they would come over and be company. In fact, some people even look forward to getting such calls.

Pity is not shown, but tenderness is, so there is no disrespect or condescention. The skill of listening is one of the highest personal achievements. People in this community know how important it is to be listened to and understood, so they put effort into making sure they listen to each other. No shallow "I'm sorry to hear that" phrases or other insincere remarks. Yup, they actually care, and they show it.

I imagine this would be a small community. As in most small towns, everyone knows each other. But in this community it is different. Everyone actually knows each other, because they've taken the time to listen and understand each other. The weaknesses and strengths of the community are clear because of how freely communication flows. I told you they were risky. :)

For some reason I can't explain, because this is my imagination, I think this community deals with a lot of danger. There is always some outside threat to the community. This makes for a strong sense of loyalty with each other. It is important that they are in such a perilous situation. Without the danger, the communication and loyalty would be much less important and probably wouldn't even be there at all.

Hm, doesn't sound like America does it? Well, maybe after 9/11. But, it doesn't sound like any "civilized" places that I know of. When I reflect on this imagination, I wonder if I'm not supposed to live in a harsher environment than San Diego, California. I think the people that have the potential to be in this community exist here, but I don't think the actual community does. There are some good people here, but there aren't too many good communities. At least, I haven't found them yet. I hope I find a community like this. I'm sure it will be different than I imagine it, but I hope I keep my imagination vague enough for the details to fit in.

Cheers,
Benjamin

A Conservative Rant

I am a gun-totting lifetime NRA member. I am a single white male. I am a Christian. I am your stereotypical right-wing conservative. I am actually quite shy and quiet. But, I listen to Rush Limbaugh and read Ann Coulter articles. I smoke cigars and get an unusual sense of relief watching Fox News. I have never smoked pot. I am pro-life and I will never vote for a candidate who isn't. I love and strongly believe in America, traditional values, the Constitution, and the Founding Fathers; and I consider that love to be reasonable, not blind or narrow-minded.

I am disgusted with Hollywood for their political influence, and I loathe those in my 20-something generation that have bought into the liberal bias of university professors and the media. I love the military, not just because they're doing what they think is right, but because they are Americans fighting in a long historic battle to maintain American freedom.

I think every U.S. citizen should own a gun and know how to use it. Every child should learn to work with their hands and learn what humans are capable of. I believe every parent should teach their child how to use a weapon when needed, how to stay married, how to stick up for what's right, and how to apologize and take responsibility.

I think the movements against "intolerance" and "hate" are the bullshit leftovers of hippie propaganda. I think we need a little more intolerance and a lot more hate, and we need a hell of a lot more common sense than both of those combined. I think the confederate flag still deserves honor and respect because it stood for more than just slavery. I think a country ruled by its citizens should have nuclear weapons, while dictatorships should not.

I think those who want to protect "Mother Nature" will have a hard time defending it from people like me and from human influence, change, and evolution. I shoot deer and donate more money to animal and habitat protection agencies than every liberal I know. I trust corporate America more than PETA, the NAACP, and the ACLU combined.

I believe in gender roles: men are supposed to do certain tasks, women are supposed to do others. I think men are oppressed in this country. I think feminism started because women have a harder time acting as counterparts than men do. I believe women have a harder time submitting to men than men have in submitting to women. Feminists not only ignore this fact, they snub at it so as to ignore further maturity and responsibility as respectable female citizens.
I hope I frustrate every loud-mouthed liberal. I will probably never be seen on television. Never be seen in a picket-line. Never teach on a college campus. I'll probably never even convert a liberal. Nobody will probably ever think exactly like I do.

But, come November 2008, I WILL VOTE. And if I have it my way, Iraq will be the next Germany, the Middle East the next Europe, and we'll be competing with both with our Alaskan oil.

The time for honoring yourself will soon be at an end

It's nearing midnight, but I can't sleep. So, I thought I'd blog about something I was reminded of at church this past Sunday.

This deep thought came during worship, which seems to be the way these thoughts come to me. Most worship songs have something in them about "exalting" God or lifting Him up or something to that effect. Well, whenever I've been away for a long time, I get reminded of why "exalting" is so important. There's something about exalting or honoring or glorifying God that just strikes deep with who I am. Do you ever get that too?

I think that when I'm away for a while I start to just naturally honor or "glorify" myself. Usually it starts with just a self-esteem or loneliness thing, but it ends up being something I'm really wanting for myself. I really can daydream with the best of 'em. I always wanted to be some kind of hero/savior/idol of someone or something. In at least half of the movies I watch I imagine myself in one of the better roles. I even imagine my friends or the people I know seeing me doing some absolutely brilliant thing and be utterly shocked that I could do such a thing.

That's how I am when I'm not worshipping. But when I'm worshipping, or even at least around worship, I get the most distinct impression that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. It's like I'm exactly where I am needed and where I belong, like I SHOULDN'T be doing anything more. It feels so damn good. I don't feel the pressure of needing to be better or earn my praise or wanting to belong.

What's even more weird, and in the more intense times, is when I get the impression that God is thoroughly pleased with me when I'm there. It's like I'm doing EVERYTHING right. It's ridiculously comforting, much more than I can say in words. I really wish I could feel that way all the time, but like I said, I just tend to try to honor myself when I'm not around true worship.

So, throughout the week I'll continue to daydream, watch movies, listen to music and hope that one day I'll be the world's best guitar playing singing comedian who knows jujitsu and can decipher the world's most complex problems. But, maybe next Sunday I'll get more relief from that crap.

Being Single

Let me first say that being single is a blessing from God and can be much worse that we make it. And secondly, being single is one of the hardest challenges anyone can face. I’ve come to realize that there are many others in my boat, erhm… we’re in our own boats, but at least we’re floating adrift on the same ocean. And in spite of hearing about how many nice fish there are in the sea, we can’t help but feel lonely.

So, without going into too much depressing detail, here’s three rather unhealthy single thoughts I’ve had in the past few weeks:

“What the hell is wrong with me?” – The ol’ insecurity loophole. Relationship challenged? Issues? Hair? Car? :) Often disguised as genuine reflection, this statement comes in various perspectives and flavors, all sticky with self-pity. The only thing missing is the feeling of being loved by another, but when no one is there, we try to solve the problem ourselves by asking ourselves this question. Shrinks call this “bargaining.” When the cause of the pain is still up for debate, we don’t have to feel it quite as much.

“Why did I break up with my last girlfriend?” – Sure, now you ask. You didn’t count on this, didja? Once I had someone who made me feel better, but now that she’s gone, I don’t feel as good anymore. For some reason, my memory gets very clouded when this thought comes. On two occasions I’ve gone back to the old girlfriend, which instantly cured the memory problem of why we were no longer together. Either that, or she was with someone else. In either case, escaping this trap requires performing one of the most difficult virtues: remembering the truth.

“How do I get the type of wife my friends have?” It sounds bad, I know. I’m not scoping out my friends’ wives. I’m jealous of the relationship they have. Notice, I went right to “wife” not “girlfriend.” Because, ah ha!, I want the life partner, not a hopeful. I’ve already thought about the type of girl I want to end up with, all I need to do is find her. And despite everyone telling me it’s “God timing,” (funny how the people who say that are MARRIED), I can’t help but feel somewhat neglected. And that’s really all it is. There really isn’t anything to figure out. No magical method. No need for extra charm or sweet smelly stuff. Sort of like looking for a treasure without a map, you should probably keep looking for the treasure rather than start looking for the map.

The hardest thing about being single for me is being around Marrieds. Don’t misunderstand, I love my friends. But Marrieds, especially new Marrieds, are ridiculous to talk to about being single. My favorite bit of advice from a Married is this: “You need to be content with singleness before you enter into marriage.” Bullshit. If this is true, why did you get married? Apparently they weren’t content with being single, either.

Anyway, that's my rant. Most times I enjoy myself as a bachelor. There's so much freedom! It's just that, occasionally, there's too much freedom.

I'm back

Hello internet, I'm back!
For those who don't know, I was in Army training for the past five months. There is very little to say about it now, except that I'm glad it's over. I came away with a few awards and many proud moments. And I'm glad it's over.

Since being back, it seems I have a lot of time on my hands. So, between job searching and playing xbox, I'll see if I can post something profound. I am truly happy to be back.

When self-control doesn't apply to feelings

Ever notice that when you are overwhelmed with problems in life, everyone else's problems seem trite? I dealt with this feeling all day today. As Christians, it's far too easy to chalk this up to unselfishness and dismiss our displeasure as pride. We tell ourselves we're being selfish, and chastise ourselves for it. But this doesn't really resolve anything, at least for me it didn't. And, more importantly, this isn't entirely true.

There are some things in life that are far more troubling to us, and they should be. Depression is far more serious than someone's acne. Not having the money to buy food is more troubling than a messy room. Joining the Army is a bigger issue than workplace stress. Attention is not always given to the appropriate need. Sometimes, very simply, the squeaky wheel gets the oil, not the one breaking down.

Perhaps, in childhood, all of us were spoiled and now that we're adults we starve for attention. Perhaps, because of the fall of mankind, we are all inherently sinfully self-centered. Perhaps, because of society, we feel oppressed and desire the right to express ourselves. Whatever the argument against the feeling of not getting what we deserve, there are some situations when no argument is good enough.

The fact is that sometimes we do not get the attention our needs deserve. Sometimes we suffer when we should not. Sometimes we're lonely simply because others have let us down. Sometimes our feelings are valid.

Too often as Christians we do our best to disregard and devalue our feelings in difficult situations. Most of the time, we disregard them for the sake of others, not that they ever asked us to, but because we're "nice people." I, for one, am tired of that. It is an exhausting task because it does not help our problems. Nor does it help theirs, because while they're telling us about their troubles, we're busy being troubled by ours. We can only devalue and disregard our own thoughts and feelings to a certain point. At some point we will be tired enough to ask, "When will the trials I've overcome in life earn me the respect I want?"

Recovering from a broken engagement? Battling severe depression/anxiety? Going to India alone for missions? Standing up for the Gospel in the face of social justice? All of these add up over time, and I guess I'm just tired. I hope they don't sound trite.

The Worship of Social Justice

PREFACE:
I am fully confident that most will disagree with my frankness and extremism when addressing social justice. That's fine, my intent is not to offend though, but neither is my opinion subject to interpretation. There's a fine line between those two. Whatever the case, my highest possible hope is that you'll see there is some truth to what I say about social justice, so that you will be reminded of the Gospel the next time it comes up.

Ever wonder why other countries often have a much more "spiritual" or mystical approach to religion than Americans do? Many Christians who have completed short-term mission projects often come home with a troubling realization: American society is very materialistic. You may see the casting out of a demon in India, the healing of cancer in Ethiopia, or the dead brought back to life in Mexico. But you will not find that here. In fact, I've never been with an Americanized group of Christians who are primarily concerned with the events of the spiritual world. We have other matters to attend to: money matters, race matters, gender matters, etc. Does this trouble you too?

I don't know why we have become this way, but I do know how our misplaced priorities assisted in the creation of the social justice movement. This is my attempt to explain it.

Education is very popular in America. Many of us have been educated such that we are more aware of the needs of our society and how to meet those needs than others. In other words, we have gained the status of the socially virtuous. We can do right where others have done wrong. Where are the economically poor? Where are those who got less than they deserved? Where are those who have fallen victim to social oppressors? For the humanities majors, our grades depended on our knowledge and skills to address social ills. In fact, for almost every area of study, there were required courses on how to address racial, gender, and social injustices. In our college communities, Christians were even greatly affirmed by non-Christians when we served the cause of making things better in our society. Everyone was assimilated into a culture of addressing social problems. And how great we felt when we changed the world!! We were educated to make the world a better place, which is the purpose of all secular education, and we felt good about it.

I do not believe our education was bad, just ignorant of Christianity. The social justice movement grew solely because it was popular at the university level, and not because it was Biblical. We became blind to doctrine and commands, and became sensitive to needs and rights. Nevermind that our professors knew nothing of the simple virtue of putting faith in Jesus. Ignore the fact that many of our educated non-Christian peers are disgusted by the idea of Hell and the eventual destruction of the planet outlined in Revelations. Put aside the fact that Amnesty International does not serve God's will, but the people's. We tell ourselves, Christianity must meet the needs of the modern issues of our time!!!

I think this is where the breakdown begins. Our decision to continue a culture addressing social ills becomes based on emotion, not Biblical reasoning. Clearly, not all of our mental decisions are based on reason. Some of them are entirely emotional. This is my assumption from those I've seen become soldiers for social justice: to be passionate about social justice, one must be carried away by some emotions to the point of demoting the priority of glorifying God. The emotion doesn't really matter, just the effect. Almost always, this involves demoting some aspect of Christianity duty for emotions' sake.

For most social justice Christians, fears and insecurities seem to be the biggest culprits. Very simply, because they are afraid of preaching the Gospel, they sacrifice it for social justice. Why talk to someone about their spiritual oppression when you can relieve their physical and social oppression with much less resistance? Why battle with the strongholds of doubt, when a battle with a corrupt employer is so much more fulfilling? Why read the Bible together when you can build a house instead? Though I love them dearly, I saw many current social activists build their Christian walk along these lines. The social virtues were practiced and became passions, passions became habits, then lifestyles, and have finally become ministries. Christians were affirmed by everyone, including non-Christians, for their social efforts. Thus, some have come to understand social justice as "reaching the lost" or "missions." A significant amount of missions, what used to be know as evangelism, have also become social justice based.

The last evolution is quite troubling. The danger of involvement in ANY secular movement is the demotion of Christianity to be the servant of a greater good. Suddenly, Christianity becomes true because it presents the best solution to the problems of social injustice. Christianity can be directly involved in our ministry of social justice... praise God!!! Christianity, you see, is practical.... and true. You are free from your economic slavery, see, Jesus saves!

When this happens, we are no longer worship our Lord for who He is, but for what the world can be like because we know His Will for it. We place our social goals above His goals. We make the world a better place, when He has promised to destroy it. What happens when Jesus comes and destroys all we've done to make things more fair? What happens when our social goals and idols get flippantly tossed aside so that all of the glory can go to God?

A common mistake is to adopt any sort of self-made language and associate it with Christianity. Bill O'reilly has a motto, "God helps those who help themselves." It's bullshit. It sounds good, but it's twisted Bible bullshit. The temptation is to apply this phrase literally with Christianity authority, as if it was God-spoken. It's not. The same principle applies to the term "social justice." The term social justice never appears in the Bible. Not in Isaiah 58. Nowhere. It's bullshit. It sounds good, but it's twisted Bible bullshit. The temptation is to apply this phrase literally with Christianity authority, as if it was God-spoken. It's not. Many in the social justice movement make this mistake. The same can be said about the phrase, "Preach the Gospel at all times, and if necessary, use words."

Another common mistake: Every religion in the world has their own version of social justice. No religion in the world opposes social justice, at least not their own version, but every religion opposes the Gospel. There are two potential faults here when pursuing social justice, almost always one of which is taken. The first is to back away from the Gospel because it offends people. The second is to adopt an attitude of plurality and tolerance of other religions so that the Gospel does not entirely offend. Both errors equally offend Christianity for the same goal: to extend the cause of the social justice as an end in itself. This is materialistic idolatry and it worships social justice rather than the Lord. It seems to me that these two roads taken are taken when one is often afraid of offending people and/or their faith in a personal and loving Lord is weak.

I'm convinced that people serve social justice because we worship materialism. The social justice movement prays and worships the idol of materialism to achieve its goals. Change the rich to change to poor, oh god! lord, empower these people, with tremendous amounts of social influence!! It is the most prevelant Christian movement in today's society and it is also the most materialistic. There is no spiritual difference between Al Qaeda and the movement of social justice. Both operate on the same principals: to make the world a better place as they see fit, with God's blessing. But did God command either? What greater victory can Hell have over Christians than to consume them with worldly goals and ignorance of personal faith in a spiritual Savior?

No matter how practical social movements become, they're still avoiding the horrible truth of the Gospel. The Gospel does not provide medicine to social ills. It doesn't. Jesus cured people for the glory of God. Because HE did it, HE gets the praise. That's the goal of the Gospel. We are meant to be followers of Jesus whose primary mission is to preach the Gospel to everyone. Let's not "interpret" ourselves out of this command and start serving social needs instead.

Today's visit to our government's finest

Today I visited two of the greatest government institutions ever created: the DMV and (yes, that is a conjuctive AND) traffic court. Based on my definitive experience today, I have a fool-proof method of converting a liberal to the right. I shall explain.

On December 14, 2005 I received a ticket for not having the correct address on my driver's license. For this I was incredibly grateful, because the officer clocked me at 53 mph in a 35 mph zone. My court date was set for February 2, 2006 at which I was to present a "proof of correction." I knew that I would be moving my permanent address back to my parents' house, which is the current address on my driver's license. So, based on this incredibly bad sense and laziness, I didn't show up to the court to present my new, very temporary, driver's license address.

On March 3, I received a letter from "AllianceOne" the collection agency. The bill was for $463. Apparently I owed $163 for the citation AND $300 for the collection agency's "civil assessment." Needless to say, I began to see the light, er, green.

This morning I visited the DMV. The DMV was a simple line to wait in, with some of America's most stereotypical Walmart shoppers. As for the DMV itself, I was out of there in two hours with, of course, nothing resolved. I cannot change my address since the paperwork takes 10 business days to process. This, of course, would be a crime for me to do, because once it goes into effect, my address will have changed.

On to court. I find parking (believe me, a significant accomplishment), go through "airport" screening, get frisked, and take a number. Exactly 52 minutes later my number is called. I go to the counter, and, of course, I'm waiting in the wrong line. There was no need to take a number like everyone else, obviously!!! Go to counter #2. Okay. On to counter #2.

Counter #2 has a line at it, but a much shorter one, and moving much faster than the "number people" are being called. (Haha bitches!! Sucks for you not to be in collections!!") I get to the front only to find that the person sitting at the counter has only one valuable function: she tells me "Please sign in." I did. "Thank you, please wait for your name to be called." Okay. Back to the waiting room.Ever had to wait in a principal's office? That's what this felt like. No one is friendly. Everyone is in trouble, preparing to present their best lie to get out of it, and always on the defensive. Fidgeting silence. Exactly 44 minutes and 21 seconds later, my name is called. I am here. Finally. The lady is nice, polite, and smiling. God is good!! I explain my situation, she listens and understands. She then gives me a card with a time on it (11:15), tells me I will need to wait and see the commissioner (judge). "Please, really, do I have to?" "Yes." Okay. Back to the principal's office.

At 11:45, a sherriff appears and invites everyone who has a card with 11:15 on it to follow him through a door. I rush to the door. He warns "us" not to push. Fuck you buddy, I want out. Fifty people file in, I was second. To my surprise, we go into a courtroom. We are briefed on how to plead, how to present evidence, and how to avoid getting thrown into jail. Huh? I was about to say, "but I didn't commit any crime," but I was pretty sure I would be echoed by everyone else who entered the courtroom. I guess I'll just sort it out with the judge.

Each person presents their case into a microphone in front of the judge with everyone else in the courtroom. "Mr. X, you're charged with speeding, driving without proof of insurance, driving with a suspended license, and driving with a child under 6 in the car without a carseat, how to you plead to each of the charges?" I exchange blank stares with others in the audience. The address was wrong on my driver's license. I don't belong here. I don't. Help.

My turn comes. "Mr. Smith, you're charged with having the wrong address on your driver's license, how do you plead?" "Guirdurly... er huum, guilty." "Have you got it fixed?" "No, I moved back to my old address." "Okay, so why weren't you here on February 2nd?" I was about to say, "Because I'm stupid, sir," but I let this fade away after a few seconds and said, "No excuse, sir." "Okay, that's $155 for the citation and $100 for the failure to appear, go wait for your name to be called." Okay. Damn. But, okay.

Ever leave the principal's office after getting out of trouble? People are elated, friendly, and jubilant. We joke and poke fun for about 20 minutes, until we realize we're waiting in the principal's office again. The "others" are staring somberly. 45 minutes after leaving the courtroom, my name is called. They swipe my Visa, and I'm gone.

And finally...
HOW TO CONVERT A LIBERAL:

An afternoon at the DMV and traffic court will make any voter jump at the opportunity to cut government spending. After taking numbers, waiting in the wrong lines, waiting in the right lines, being grouped with pre-inmates, and paying ridiculous fines that fund this Alice in Wonderland circle jerk, any male or female will think twice about passing new legislation to fund "our growing infrastructure."

Perhaps we should place voting booths outside the DMV and traffic court. My, how the world would change.

First post

This is my first post. It's short.