Happy Times

Happy times are good days; an accumulation of the good hours of minutes of moments when you detach from those things that make you feel bad to enjoy what makes you feel good. For a few in a row you do whatever pleases you. I think it's important to remember these times. In fact, it might be the biggest lesson learned in life that one remembers the good times over the bad. To not have regret and guilt over present events is "responsibility" as our parents taught us. Tricky though it is to trump shame for presently feeling good about something previously done bad, it's worth the sacrifice. Nothing is better than using your present abilities for good. In short, we live our lives during the moment between inhale and exhale, between breaths and moments. I hope that makes sense to you.

Whenever I look in the mirror I see way more than I wish, but both you and everyone does. This is why we try to change. I've seen dogs and cats puzzling to do the same. I see everyone I know wanting to be seen for more than they are. It seems sad at first, then humorously silly, then overwhelmingly pointless, and finally greatly satisfying. It's satisfying to me because it's expected and absurdly normal, as in not alone, not average, but simple and understandable. I see those things that I love in others and it makes me loveable. We have so much common with our sadly silly pointless simplicity.

But it is difficult being such a unique specimen so different to my environment. I'm perfectly lonely, but still alone. For example, I currently feel the sudden urge to throw a bunch of glass bottles at my neighbors satellite dish just to see if I can hit it. I also want to build a rifle from scratch, including smelting the metal into forged molds for all of the parts, just to see if I can do it. I want to create and destroy just about everything I see and touch. I want to play extremely. I want live extremely and I won't settle for less.

In fact I don't think anyone wants to settle for less than their extreme expectations of desire. They're motivated beyond the mirror image that they see and want. But I have yet to meet someone who can match my life expectancy. The girls I have known and loved have settled for way less than me. My friends and family are consistently shocked by the events and beliefs I enact with passionate devotion. Such amazing irony! It's a shame I cannot trust their love because they don't understand me.

If you're like me, no one will ever know you better than you know yourself. But you are not like me and you never can be, figure out your identity and let it ride out into maturity. Happy times will find you easy as anyone you see. Point being, you'll never live a life like me. And fuck, I'm awesome. I just a wrote a haiku. ;)