1:13 AM, Saturday, October 8th 2011. I'm awake. In fact, I'm still awake. A nap came earlier, but that information is meant to distract you from why I'm awake. I just dropped out of school, threatened myself with moving back to my hometown with my parents, and generally initiated my demotion from adult to teenager. Perhaps I'll get a job delivering pizza again, who knows.
The truth is that I planned on not getting any sleep tonight, just so I could write and smoke under the stars and enjoy the quietness of nobody and nothing. Long story short, I was pretty much forced to quit school because I missed my 3 out of 4 midterms due to Army shit, none of my professors allowed me to make them up (even though they knew ahead of time that I'd be on active duty during the midterms), and I cannot even hope to pass those 3 classes with an "F" on the midterm. So I don't have anything to do tomorrow, why not stay up all fucking night?!!
And drink. And play online video games against Koreans who have nothing better to do (yes, I've actually been doing this for the past 4 hours or so). And scare skunks in my backyard by flicking cigarettes at them. And microwave popcorn. And listen to classical music. And obnoxiously serenade my neighbors with my guitar/singing American Idol audition on my back porch. And pop bubble wrap. And vacuum. And throw glass bottles down my back alley. And take out my gun to shoot at that offensive police helicopter noise.... nah, that's not a good idea. I'm still in control, just going a bit crazy.
Sociologists call this a "paradigm shift." Psychologists call this "self-talk." Christians call this "prayer." Teachers call this an "ah ha!" moment. Buddhists call this "meditation." Scientists call this a "discovery." Mathematicians call this a "proof." Philosophers call this "thinking." I'm the first and the last of that list, a thinking paradigm shift of a philosociopherologist or something. I'm 30 years old, unemployed (kinda), and I'm moving back in with my parents. Without adding details, that's a drastically fucked up change.
So cheers to you all present; my wall thermostat, my bookshelf full of books, my refrigerator, my cardboard box of whatever or empty, my Wii remote, my broken/dismantled old hard drive, my venetian blinds... I'll be awake for as long as you all so long as I can enjoy your inanimate peace.
Let's just stay awake to space.
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