Reactions and Human Nature

Human nature is reactionary. When we feel pain, we express it. When we are sad, we cry. When we are happy or ticklish, we laugh. When we are sad, we cry. In many ways, this is a good thing. Reactions remind us that we have an animalistic nature and restores roots to our identity. Pain reminds us, as it should, that we are not well. It would be unhealthy for a person to feel pain and not know that they are injured. Pleasure gives us the security of relaxation and enjoyment. This system gives the depressed a reason to hope for recovery and the overly-comfortable a reality check on life. We can use this system to remind us that we are, indeed, human.

However, the real danger of our reactive nature is revealed in social situations. When we are hurt, we automatically lash out at the cause of our pain. When we are offended, we instinctively respond. Like pinball machines without bumpers or controls, our words end up bouncing off of each others’ sensibilities with growing acceleration. Each retort can escalate our emotions and the severity of our thoughtless words.

Reactions in social situations are often referred to as drama. MTV’s “The Real World” is a prime example of the reactionary nature of humanity at work. Drama does not exist without the reactionary nature of people. We build up our offenses like they are a litany of broken sacred traditions. As if Holy Ground itself was trampled upon, we defend our egos and ethics with thoughtless outrage. We justify our responses with pop-culture ideals and rules that our parents taught us earlier in life. It is an attempt to regain control over the source of our pain via exaggerated persuasion or even brute force.

The reactionary nature of human needs self-control in order to function correctly. People need to question whether their sensibilities are worth being offended. Too often people bury their feelings for the sake of appearing polite, but end up feeling insulted or taken advantage of for the sake of another. We are ignorant of our own reactions because we are too focused on appearing to be nice, good people. Instead, we should be sincerely questioning our own standards through the eyes of another person. We must learn that nice behavior does not equal a nice person. A truly healthy person questions their sensibilities when crossed by another, but does not bury their emotions when doing so.

In other words, we need to learn to adapt, much like a child learn to adapt when he touches a hot stove for the first time. If someone is consistently hurtful to us, we should avoid that person with full honesty about why we are doing so. If someone is helpful, we should compliment them because of the pleasure they bring to us. Our reactive nature can be good when it is controlled by an honest and mature adult. We can learn to differentiate between those issues that are worth a reaction and those that are not. In this way, we can avoid the escalation of drama and the type of fights that have forgotten their source.