When you start to teach your parents

By the time you reached teenage puberty, you started to realize you were changing as a person. In your early teens, you realized that you were attracted to certain types of people. By your mid-teens, you were learning about two options: college or career. Oh, by the way, you were in love, remember? You didn't know anything about "love" but you knew that THAT boy/girl was extremely fucking amazing and you wanted them to want you. So, by your late teens you were trying to to secure a life-long relationship. During that time you worked harder than you ever have in your life, both physically and emotionally. You were trying to pursue an education, a career, a life-long relationship, and a religion/philosophy.

When you got to your early 20s, you started to realize that you were stuck with a choice you didn't know you already made. You chose a path that wouldn't work for you in the long run and you began to dramatically change your personality as your idealism fit. You stuck with your responsibilities and obligations as best you could, but nothing could prepare you for how insane life became during your mid-20s. You waffled between sheer joy, depression, pain, fun, fear, adventure, safety, moving in with your parents, loving all you could, boundaries in all you couldn't, and finally settling in where you were. It took many years. You think this matters. You think this is somehow important to your life experience, as if that was a part of your self-esteem. You might even put it on your resume. By your late 20s, you think your life is nothing more than the culmination of your experience. It's been a dramatic experience. It's been a harsh experience. It's been a joyful and saddening experience. It's an experiential experience. It's your life.

In your early 30s, you realize how selfishly fucking retarded you were in your "youth", as if "youth" was somehow a disjointed part of your distant past and not you. You begin to realize how human everyone is, like you. It's almost as if everyone on the planet was somehow related to you. Somehow everyone has faults. Everyone has a sense of humor. Everyone has a reason for doubt and reason for lying. Everyone has a reason for faith and a reason for honesty. In your early 30s, you realized that your mom and dad were not just people with faults and virtues, but they were actually the only two people who would ever want you until the day they died.

Your mom and dad gave birth to you when they were in their late teens/early 20s. Your dad started working quite a bit before then (early/mid teens). They raised you with the expectations of their youth, passed down from their parents. They know absolutely nothing about touchscreen cellphones, hybrid car engines, or HD television UNLESS you (or someone younger than you) teaches them. They don't know that baby diapers are flushable, cars are a bad investment, and toilets don't flush with 2 gallons of water. They didn't grow up with any of this. You're going to start teaching them about the world around them. Teach them about your responsibilities, about your life, about your difficulties and joys and excitements and relationships and everything. Your parents become your children.

By your 30s, you'll realize that your parents will never change. Not ever, until the day they die. Your great-grandparents (if you're lucky) will just now die, your grandparents will start to die, and your parents will become extremely old. You know what's coming. You'll start to become desperate and glean from them every possible piece of advice and hope and wisdom. In that time, you'll teach them more about you than they've ever known, even though they've wiped your self-shitting ass and allowed you to vomit on their shoulder. You will tell them about all. You will ask about all. You will confess. You will comfort. You will try all. You will risk everything. You will want nothing more than for your parents to be happy.

You will teach your parents more in those last years than they ever knew, and not just because their world has drastically changed. You'll tell them everything you've learned, everything you know, everything they mean to you, even if they don't listen. You'll make their life as easy as possible, as happy as possible, as beloved as possible.

You will become your parents' teacher, caretaker, and parent.